This is something I quickly scribbled down in my journal on March 25th of 2017, a day after attending the BTS concert in Newark. BTS is a very special group to me, they were my wings went I sank down to my lowest point and they lifted me back up when I felt like giving up. They gave me hope when I told myself it was all impossible. Although I have not been a part of their ARMY since their debut and have only discovered them in late 2015 to early 2016, I have come to love them like I’ve known them my entire life. Getting to see them live was a dream come true, it was truly an experience I’ll never forget.
At exactly three in the morning, my friend and I sheepishly woke up and got ready for our flight to JFK. At around 3:30am or 3:45am, we decided that we were ready so we pulled out our phones to get an Uber to take us to the airport where our plane would fly us to NY. We get to our local airport just fine and check in, as well as go through security, where they had to throw out my Cosrx face cleanser and my friend’s Vaseline because they were over the limit of what people could have in their bags. That was very disappointing because we had just both bought our items and had barely even used them. But nevertheless, we remained positive because we were finally going to see our Bangtan Boys. After that, we then waited in the airport for a little less than an hour before our rows were called to board the plane. We mutually decided that I would get the window seat on the way there and she would then get it on the flight back. I got to watch the sun gently peek out through the clouds and kiss the sky, staining it with hues of red, pink, orange, and blue-violet—it was magnificent. Everything about our flight there was nice, though, the plane taking off and landing did make me a little uneasy but the overall experience was good. The flight to JFK only took about an hour and a half so we didn’t even have time to sleep on the plane. We landed in JFK at around 7:30, almost 8:00am. Most of our day consisted of walks around the city and subway rides. We probably walked about seven miles total. It was exhausting but there were definitely fun and great things we did as well. I was so glad to have my friend, a New York native, with me because I don’t think I would’ve had been able to navigate through the jungle of concrete and buildings all by myself. Our very first stop was at the “Best Bagel and Coffee” place in Manhattan. Despite the name, we thought that the food was average. After we got our bagels and drinks, we began walking through Central Park where we were able to take many fun and cute pictures as we roamed. We ate our bagels in the park where we also did some squirrel-watching. Once we finished our toasty bagels, we headed to the MET and saw many beautiful and interesting art and architecture from different time periods, regions, and cultures. We were probably in the museum for almost two hours and also got many pictures there as well. After the museum, we decided that we wanted to try an Indian restaurant. The service there was not so great but not terrible. The food was average and it was definitely on the expensive end but they were having a special that day so we fortunately, got a discount off our meal. After eating lunch, we decided that we wanted to head over to the hotel we booked in advanced for so that we could check in and maybe take some time to relax before heading to Newark for the concert. We arrive about half an hour before 3:00pm and as we headed to the front desk towards an employee, we were turned down because we were under 21. That left us feeling exhausted and hopeless. We were frustrated that the hotel allowed us to book a room online (where I had entered my birth year, revealing that I was not over 21) yet turned us down when we came. We became very sad, upset, and worried for what we’d have to do because I had decided to bring my DSLR, which cannot be taken into the venue and now we had no place to put it. We were getting headaches and teary-eyed and at the same time, we also really had to use the bathroom so we searched for the nearest Starbucks so that we could borrow their Wi-Fi and outlets as well as use their bathroom. I had been holding it for a couple of hours and once we got there, we immediately saw a long line for a one stall bathroom. I stood in line for probably almost 20 mins and it felt like my bladder was going to give up on me. After finally being able to use the bathroom, we proceeded to look for new hotels, which was equally difficult and frustrating. After a little bit, we decided that we should just head to Newark because time was flying by and we didn’t want to be late for the concert, our sole purpose. After many trains, subways, and walking, we make it to Newark and realize that without a hotel, I won’t have a place to put my camera. Once again, we found ourselves becoming very stressed out and frustrated about the whole situation. I was upset and worried to the point where I almost just busted out crying. We decided to then call our friend at home and ask her for some assistance and advice because we wanted to look into AirBnB near us. After about an hour with technical difficulties and anger, we decided to ditch the idea of getting a place through AirBnB. While we were stressing out about the whole situation and worrying about missing the event (my heart broke a little just thinking about the thought of not seeing them), we met two girls who were also a part of ARMY. They had saw the show on Thursday night and were telling us about how good it was and just a little bit about them and their interests in Korean culture and the language. I felt bad because I mostly didn’t focus my attention on them because I was so worried but they were super nice and wished us luck as they left. We continue to try to figure out our situation and fortunately, Lorean helped set us up with the Hilton Newark Airport Hotel. Everything about the hotel was fantastic except for the price but we were incredibly desperate and decided to just go for the $272/night hotel, which we split of course. Once the hotel was booked, we got an Uber there. Ahmed, who was our Uber driver, was practically hitting on me through different comments about my appearance and asking us to go to a bachelor party with him. It was strange and quite uncomfortable. But we make it to the hotel and check in immediately, the staff was great and the room was spacious (I mean, for $272/night, it better be…). After checking in and leaving our backpacks, we got another Uber with a very nice driver who brought us very quickly (but safely) to the Prudential Center. As soon as we entered, we showed security our tickets and went smoothly through a metal detector. After that, we used the bathroom–just in case, bought water ($5.00 per bottle, which I dropped during the concert because I was screaming and moving so much *cries*), and headed to our seats. I make my way to my seat just on time because they were starting to play the introduction videos and preparing for the boys to come out. A little bit after 8:00pm, they came out and did an introduction as well as perform a song. Namjoon is such a good leader because he warmed it up by talking to us in English before letting the rest of the boys introduce themselves. They were all very cute because they tried their hardest to speak English and to say something cute and meaningful to us. I noticed that Jin’s voice when he speaks or sings English is very high pitch! I really like him because to me, I find his softness really cute. What really hit me hard was seeing Park Jimin in real life. Jimin was very attractive, I already knew that he is a beautiful being from all the pictures and videos but in real life, he is so so so so handsome, he is ‘out of this world’ handsome! And I don’t know what he uses in his hair but it looked incredibly luscious. I just–I just–want him. He is very lovely and so much more. Jin is very adorable but there were times when it seemed like he didn’t have much energy or didn’t feel too good though, which really worried me. He was very interactive with ARMY, borrowing their light bomb and plush toys. Just seeing him confirmed my love and adoration for him. As for Taehyung, it felt like he was looking towards my section often (or that could be my imagination…who knows *laughs awkwardly*). His smile is very bright and happy, it made me smile with him. He never fails to impress me with his high pitch and deep voice. Listening to ‘Stigma’ live left me
Jungshook (sorry). Namjoon is very intelligent and talented. He speaks English very well, his voice is deep and masculine, and it’s the kind of voice that captivates you regardless of what they’re saying. Jungkook is very cute in person too. He has a very feminine built, in fact, they all do. I don’t know if it’s just me but there are times when I look at him and am reminded vaguely of Troye Sivan. He is very skilled at singing, rapping, dancing, and basically everything. Jungkook is the maknae but he always surprises us with his many talents. J-Hope is just like how I imagined him to be, if not happier! He always had a smile on his face and during the concert, I noticed that he is a very attractive person in more than one way. I feel that I’m often drawn by his positivity, happiness, and energetic aura. It’s hard to look at him and not smile and it’s just hard to look away once you’ve allowed yourself to look. Yoongi is also like how I imagined him, he has a very sarcastic and interesting personality. He is cute and I love his signature line in ‘Fire’, the ‘bultaoreune’, and just when he’s rapping because he has a very attractive and almost soothing voice—even when he raps. The boys were all perfect, they sounded beautiful live just as they do in their videos. Though, it felt and still feels unreal that I was in the same building as BTS. It’s just surreal to see them physically in real life because after awhile, you get so used to seeing them on devices and videos and you forget that they are real. They are the sweetest and most talented, they give off such a strong and positive vibe. I fell in love with all of them a little bit more after last night. It felt as if they were real and not just some sort of fantasy I made up. I can’t stress enough how they are even more beautiful in person, even though I didn’t even get to be that close to them, I could still see their beauty—even during times when they would be almost drenched in sweat. They are kind and getting to see them last night gave me this sudden reminder that they’re humans too and they are real, this makes me really happy. During the concert, I felt like I got to see sides of the members that I did not fully grasp yet and it just makes me adore them even more. They all sang and danced beautifully. I wish I was closer to them but just being there and seeing them is good with me (for now). Also, the members were really cute with ARMY, they blew kisses and finger hearts at us and I just about died every time. It was so dreamlike to hear all the songs and to hear them singing live. I got to record some of the songs but almost halfway through, my phone died but it was okay because I got to enjoy listening to them and living in the moment without electronics. [Sidetrack: Jimin’s butt and thighs leaves me speechless and they were wearing the right kind of pants too, those like leather pants that really hugs their legs]. Near the end when they were stating to say their goodbyes, I started tearing up and it was both tears of happiness and sadness that I wouldn’t be able to see them in person for a while. The memory of seeing them sing and dance with my own eyes and not through a screen still leaves me in awe. I don’t know why or how it came to be but it seems that I have become so much more attracted and attached to them. I want to be near them, if not with them (lol). As we started to walk out of the stadium, we headed for the bathroom and as we walked, a wave of pure happiness and sadness hit me and I started to cry. At that time, I didn’t even feel embarrassed because I knew that ARMY would understand—and I was right. A girl in front of me turned around and was also crying, we exchanged words of comfort and smiles as we wiped our tears. I was so happy but so sad at the same time. I didn’t want my time with them to end and I desperately wanted to be near them for longer. It’s amazing how they can touch me this much. They are so embedded in my heart that I just feel connected to them, even more so during the concert. But still, somehow, it just fell like I had just seen someone I have always loved for the very first time in years but then had to say goodbye after just two hours together. While there was definitely joy in seeing and being with them, there was also a sort of headache and heartbreak in saying goodbye. To some people, this may all seem ridiculous and they may just tell me that I’ll get over it or that I’m crazy for doing and feeling so much for a boyband but to me, they’re not just a boyband, it’s more than that. I don’t know when I’ll get over these emotions. I keep playing their songs on repeat and looking at pictures that I took during the concert in fear that I’ll forget my experience, in fear that if I don’t then it’ll feel as if it never happened. The more I think of them, the more I’m sad that the concert is over and that they’re not here. I miss them and when I say that, I miss them even more. Honestly, I hope my loves continue to do great things and that one day, I’ll see them in Korea and in person. I will always support and love them and I will always be an ARMY ♡
You Never Walk Alone